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Reel

Concepts

For Zarabi.
If you’re in Greek life then you understand the importance your letters hold to you. It’s been three years and I still can’t find the right words to describe how I feel. Yes, feel because it’s a trauma that I still face in different aspects of my life. My letters were taken away without warning at a meeting that I was not present for. The next few months felt like being under a spotlight with my voice on mute. Regardless, if you believed in the removal of my letters... it was handled poorly.

I had started to lose myself. I became extremely depressed which led to dropping out of school and deactivating my social media. I couldn’t handle the mental distress. As I tried to get back to normal, I hit rock bottom when I was bullied by the sorority at a bar.. I attempted suicide shortly after that. I was so lucky that I had a moment where I said, “that’s enough” because I wouldn’t be here right now. I decided my social media will be a place of positivity. That I wanted to focus on my growth and be happy again. I started to reconnect with Dance and it became my therapy.

I’m sharing this because I’m proud of where I am today and felt ready to share this past chapter of my journey. Society says women are equal but the harsh reality is we can’t get away with the same things that men do. Women slut-shaming women is telling society that the stigma isn’t wrong. Women shouldn’t be afraid to be comfortable with their sensuality. Although, my voice was taken away in Greek life... I decided to amplify my voice to the world because I never want anyone to ever feel what I felt. It took a long time to love myself again. To own and embrace my body. I’m proud that I’m able to create a space where people especially women can feel safe, love their differences and know that they are never alone.

Driving in my Jeep Wrangler and this song randomly comes on… I literally pulled over and listened … started to reflect on my love life overall and this concept was born.
••••Reflecting on the guys that I wanted to be with… I realized that I always set myself up for failure because yes, I do want a relationship but the thought of it .. absolutely terrifies me. So when the moment of “what are we doing” approaches and I already know the answer because I excuse the behavior that doesn’t line up with the page that I’m on. I know this person will not be choosing me and my heart is protected from being heartbroken. I know exactly why I do this and in time, I’ll heal this part of myself… Allowing someone who truly deserves me 

Since I grew up in a Peruvian household... My Dominican and Purteo Rican side is a little foreign to me but it’s something that I do want to change. For now, I’m able to embrace this part of my culture through the style that I grew up, Mambo Salsa. Tried to recreate some old San Juan Vibes. Def. plan to visit Puerto Rico again and create new memories for myself.

Had this concept on my heart for a few years. Ever felt like you want to pursue a dream but it’s not possible since so many people are chasing it too and on top of that.. you’re facing a barrier? You don’t see anyone doing the things that you want to do.. you feel like it’s not allowed? Maybe you hold yourself back because of it? Everyone is fully capable and You can be that person to break the barrier. I wanted to highlight some people that I’ve met along my journey that are pursuing their dreams and making differences in their own ways 

Love and Basketball: Amputee Edition
Introducing our separate passions in this concept: Rob is catching a beat and I made it in by my fourth Basket.
Growing up .. it would’ve made a difference to see people like us. We are more than what society says and what ignorance tries to make us feel. Maybe you need to adapt and do things differently but that’s ohkay!! You are enough to chase your passions and break barriers.

Heartbreak is such a hard thing to go through especially during a quarantine. The past few months really shook life at its core. It eliminated all the distractions and really showed everything for what it was... having no choice but to face the music.

I learned that I deserve more than being stuck in a cycle with you. Yes, we had an incredible relationship but we both held on after it was over throughout the years. It’s a history that I used as an excuse for the present but I always ended up the same way: heartbroken. I waited for you but you are too afraid to understand your feelings and issues. You see feelings as a disadvantage that will end in your demise. Yes, there’s a risk but there’s a beauty in understanding each and every part of yourself. We’re just at different stages of life and that’s okay. You will always have a special place in my heart but this is where the cycle ends.

Loved that we were able to come together and create this visual in just a few days. High key love that we all had curly hair .. down to the videographer! Not to mention we did that with Rhinestones on our knees and heels on uneven wet concrete 


What does it mean to be a woman? Although we overcame so much to fully express ourselves, there’s still this invisible line that society has drawn for us to not cross. That there’s a definition that we should all follow. But the thing is .. it’s not possible because we all come from different backgrounds and experiences that we end up viewing life in different ways.
To be more specific: the same goes with being Latina.... There is not just one look. My best friend and I are two completely different kinds of Latina but yet we both come across situations where we both need to prove our latinhood. Don’t be afraid to follow your own definitions and believe in what you want to believe in. Stay confident in your purpose and rewrite the definitions that stand in your way.

Honored to have Emma as best friend. We see the world in similar ways yet we still are own people who encourage one another. Thank you for creating this with me and just being an inspiration in life and dance. Honestly don’t know what I would do without you